Crossover(2006)

OUR REVIEW


Who's in It: Anthony Mackie, Wesley Jonathan, Wayne Brady, Kristen Wilson, Little JJ, Eva Pigford
The Basics: You know what movie you're getting just in the opening moments. Chicks in bikinis lounge on motorcycles under a basketball rim, and guys leap over them to stuff the basket. No explanations given or expected. Don't all chicks in bikinis lie around on motorcycle seats on basketball courts waiting for some baller to make them an NBA wife?

What's the Deal? Sorry, I forgot to tell you what it was about in that last bit. This guy from Detroit (Mackie) plays "underground" basketball games that people bet on. His buddy (Jonathan) wants to go to medical school. They get mixed up with the wrong people, like that gangsta Wayne Brady, and bad stuff happens. You don't get tangled up with Wayne Brady and come out on the other side without bruises and wisdom. That cat'll lay down the hurt.

Why, Even Though This Is One of the Very Worst Movies of 2006, You Might Consider Going Anyway:
1. Wayne Brady as the bad guy. I know I just said that, but seriously, WAYNE BRADY AS THE BAD GUY.
2. Awkward, inept direction where long takes of main characters' legs walking through a hotel are supposed to mean … um, I don't know.
3. Thirty-five cents worth of production values that include the two main guys working at the Sad Shopping Mall in the Even Sadder Shoe Store where they have, like, seven pairs of shoes on the wall. Also a score sounding like it was done on a Casio.
4. Characters going out to Los Angeles to attend "California University Los Angeles" and reading "The Los Angeles Tribune."
5. Dialogue like "Go pinch dat loaf, dawg" and "She's from the D! She was born with larceny in her heart!" and "I came to break him and he gonna be broke!" and "She got you open like the freeway at 4 a.m. in the morning." And that's just four of many.
6. Eva from America's Next Top Model! Eva!